


Easy As Pie

by HyperKid



Series: Modern AU [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aggressive pronoun respecting, Beau doesn’t hate genderfluid people she just hates Molly, Fluff, Genderfluid!Mollymauk, Humour, In the best possible way, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, They/them/he/him Mollymauk, and aggressive pronoun switching, potentially touchy subject, pronoun games, the Beau and Molly Show, ymmv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: There’s really nothing sacred between Beau and Molly when it’s fuckery time. So when Beau decides to be aggressively respectful of pronouns, clearly Molly’s only recourse is to make that as hard as physically possible.
Relationships: Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Molly/Caduceus, Caleb Widogast/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Beauregard, Polynein, hints of Widomauk - Relationship
Series: Modern AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545967
Comments: 34
Kudos: 245





	Easy As Pie

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Hello everyone! I may have mentioned, I’ve had some conflicted feelings on Molly’s pronouns in the past, particularly set in the modern AU.  
> Mollymauk: You do default to him.  
> HK: Pretty much because Taliesin did, which the modern AU gives me an excuse to sneak out of. But also because he/him genderfluid people are still valid? Like... the pronouns don’t make you more or less so.  
> Mollymauk: So that’d be why you decided on switching them up a little?  
> HK: Basically yeah! And because they/them pronouns are important to a lot of people, and need a whole lot more common acceptance, even if they’re not the only path.  
> Mollymauk: And of course your vehicle for this realisation is more adventures with Beau.  
> HK: Look, it’s another one that came to me in a dream and gave me a giggle fit. Matt didn’t give us a canonically gender accepting world so we couldn’t have a little fun fucking with our friends~  
> Mollymauk: Or fucking our friends!  
> HK: Exactly! And honestly... there’s something extremely refreshing about having a world where this kind of thing isn’t a big deal. Where you can just be you and people mind their own fucking business.  
> Mollymauk: Ain’t that the mood. It’s not like it’s hard to use the pronouns someone asks you to.  
> HK: People seem to manage it with dogs and babies just fine, I genuinely can’t imagine why it gets more complicated with kids and adults. Anyway! This may be a little hot button if you have recently had your own pronouns disrespected, so turn away if you’re unsure and Beau and I will be glad to come beat up any assholes as you need. I’m available on Twitter at @TroublesomeGabe!  
> Mollymauk: One day we’re going to talk about the roleplay situation.  
> HK: And until that day I’m just gonna keep on trucking and mixing universes wherever I go! 
> 
> WARNINGS!! In this house we respect everyones’ chosen pronouns no matter what they are. Beau and Molly absolutely and unequivocally respect each other, each others’ pronouns, and each others’ right and tendency to be a massive dickhead. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own this wonderful little world, I just work, play, and enjoy the freedom from our world’s gender fuckery.

No one was really sure what prompted the idea in Beau, but it might have had something to do with meeting Bryce. 

It started out innocently enough; the Mighty Nein had met for dinner, as they were becoming wont to do. Beau turned to Molly, her expression almost suspiciously innocent. 

“Hey, Molly, do you want me to ask which pronouns you’re usin’ on a given day?” 

Molly was more surprised than anything and visibly taken aback. Maybe just the littlest bit touched... which was immediately undercut by mild suspicion. 

“I mean... you can? I don’t really mind whichever you wanna use, but if I’m feeling one more than others I can tell you?” 

Beau nodded back, a grin with a much more familiar hint of trouble spreading across her face. 

“Just so long as I’m not using the wrong ones. I’d feel real shitty if I was.” 

On the other end of the table, the rest of the Nein exchanged looks. Beau... wasn’t best described as tactful, but she was usually respectful of things that didn’t involve authority. There was a chance she meant it sincerely. 

No one took Nott up to bet on it, though. 

For the best, since it didn’t take more than three days for the pattern to emerge. 

Every time Beau entered a room Molly was in, she sidled over with her suspiciously innocent face in place. 

“Hey Molly, what’s your pronouns?” 

And the first couple times, Molly was mostly just bemused, but answered. And usually, the answer was “whichever?”, but began varying between “they” or “he” when he began to suspect she was looking for specifics. 

Beau was not looking for specifics. 

Beau was looking to be a pain in the ass. 

The real clarifier was the air horn she blew into Molly’s room at 4am on the third day, followed by screaming “PRONOUNS, MOTHERFUCKER!” 

Fjord’s door slammed open beside it and Beau narrowly dodged an Eldritch Blast before sprinting cackling from the house. 

So of course, Molly retaliated. 

But he started small. 

Every time Beau asked, he gave her a firm answer. Sometimes he, sometimes they, sometimes she, or xir. But it was different not just every time Beau asked, but every time Molly saw her. 

And to be fair to her, Beau did her best to keep up. When Molly gave her an answer, she used it about them until she was told otherwise. 

Which was invariably the next time he saw her. 

And if she tried to mix it up to catch them out, well, Molly had given themselves four options for a reason. 

Reactions from the rest of the Nein were... varied. Jester twigged the fastest, bursting into giggles and occasionally joining in. If she happened to be talking to Beau and she mentioned Molly, Jester would happily tell her Molly was using other pronouns that day. 

If she’d consistently lied or consistently knew the actual pronoun Molly would pick next, Beau could have dismissed or followed her without worrying. But... well, Jester loved the chaos. 

Fjord did his best to ignore the whole thing. He wasn’t about to pick sides, and while he very much enjoyed watching Jester stir the pot, he wasn’t interested in picking up the spoon. 

Nott varied between ignoring them and joining Jester in egging them on indiscriminately. Caduceus watched it all with a gentle, completely uncomprehending smile and refused to pick a side. 

Only Caleb seemed to be actually concerned. 

***

He caught Molly before breakfast the day after the tiefling started actually picking pronouns, worry having nagged him through the night. The tiefling was wandering down the hall towards the kitchen in a baggy sweater and booty shorts, one hand pressed over their mouth and the other stretched out behind them. 

Caleb reached for his shoulder and Molly nearly lost his balance pivoting around the contact. Not a morning person. Bleary red eyes blinked slowly to clear themselves, brows creasing to a frown as he noticed the worry on Caleb’s face. 

“I just...” the wizard paused, frowning at the ground. It was just easier than looking at Molly. “I know you are probably fucking with Beauregard, but I want to be sure. Have I been using the wrong pronouns for you?” 

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and then Molly’s expression cleared to a grin. 

“That’s real sweet, Caleb,” he murmured sleepily, leaning in enough to press a messy kiss to the human’s cheek. “I’m definitely just fuckin’ with Beau. I really don’t care what pronouns you want to use for me, love. Whatever you pick, you’re always right.” 

A sudden, wicked smile spread across their lips and they seemed just a little more awake. 

“And Beau’s always wrong.” 

That coaxed a small smile from Caleb as well and he reached out, lacing his fingers through Molly’s. 

“Ja, but which ones do you prefer? Do you have any favourites?” 

Knowing Molly, it was possible he’d pull some that Caleb had never even heard of before out of his ass. The wizard would do his best to use them anyway. 

Molly themself seemed actually, genuinely surprised by the idea. Gradually the expression softened out into a gentler, more openly affectionate smile. 

“Use they or them for me, especially when we’re in bed with the others and you wanna be specific. He/him is good too, and definitely if you’re not sure they/them pronouns’d be safe somewhere. Don’t want anyone getting up your ass about grammar bullshit.” 

A slim hand cupped Caleb’s cheek for a moment and the wizard smiled, turning his face into it. 

“I am more than well equipped for anyone to argue about grammar,” he pointed out with maybe the faintest hint of pride. Molly grinned back and dropped another kiss, this one on his lips. 

“Yeah, well, that’s up to you pet.” And then they drifted past and away in the direction of the coffee pot, leaving Caleb to follow in his wake. 

*** 

It was probably Jester who found the pronoun buttons, but it was Beau who dumped them down the back of Molly’s shirt. The set contained six different buttons, with the more usual he/him, she/her, and they/them, but also xie/xir, ke/kir, and per/pers. 

Molly probably hadn’t heard of per/pers before, based entirely on they hadn’t actually given it as an answer to Beau, but they were more than happy to accept the gift. 

And carry the full set at all times, tugging a random one from their pocket to switch as soon as Beau turned her back. 

Not left. 

Turned. 

They got fast enough at switching them that by the end of the week, if Beau stopped to take a drink they’d have another stuck into their shirt. And occasionally a layer of skin, but hell, sacrifices had to be made. Jester was always perfectly happy to drop a healing spell in the name of fuckery. 

Yasha was the one who suggested they wear them all at once. 

Beau’s jaw actually dropped when she saw the new display on Molly’s jacket, arranged like a flower. For once, she was actually impressed. 

*** 

Only one person was actually unwise enough to extrapolate the extremely public feud into an actual dislike of neopronouns. The beating Beau gave them got her another mandatory meeting with her case worker Dairon. 

Dairon also used they/them along with she/her pronouns, so they spent the meeting getting ice cream. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: And one last time just because it’s important: do not question or judge someone else’s pronouns unless they know you well enough to know that you respect them! This take time, energy, and respecting the pronouns of everyone you meet. Let’s all make the world a little more accepting in 2020, huh guys? 
> 
> And, like Beauregard, we do not tolerate those who don’t respect others in our space ^^


End file.
